Well we hit that point of the race where life is about to get real.
We have been on this journey for 4 months, about to start month 5 in Thailand! The newness and exciting adventure of the trip is starting to wane and disappointment, frustration, and exhaustion replaces it. They say month 4, 5, and 6 are the hardest because these are the months that you want to quit and go home. More people leave the Race months 4, 5, and 6 than any other time on the race. So, it’s with this in mind that I write this blog to you. I have hit that point. I don’t necessary say I want to go home but I can definitely see how that thought would be appealing. Especially when I’m lying on a bathroom floor in Bangkok, Thailand throwing up my guts.
Being dairy free on the race is a lot harder than I had anticipated. I survived pretty well in Europe being able to read the labels on things and ordering things diary free, except for that one time in Belgrade, but other than that I would say life in Europe wasn’t that much different than life in the States. Then we moved to Asia and in the last month I have gotten sick from something that I ate 3 times! And it’s this last time that has me really considering why I’m on the Race. When I’m in that much pain and that miserable in a foreign country in a gross bathroom all I want is my mommy and my bed! Its moments like these that you call home crying to your parents knowing that there is nothing they can do to help you from the other side of the planet!
So that’s what I did last night. And it’s in moments like these that I really have to count my costs. I am surprised how long I lasted on the race without calling home crying to my parents. I haven’t really been that homesick after that first week, but missing thanksgiving and thinking about missing Christmas has really made my homesickness increase. I definitely thought I would call home crying like month 1. So, for me to make it to the start on month 5 is a pretty big accomplishment for me! And as I am crying on the bathroom floor in a hostel in Bangkok that I have to really consider why I am on the Race. It is so easy in these moments to just hop on a plane and be in the comforts on my home with my family by Christmas! But after I’m done throwing up and crying and think about everything that I have had the opportunity to do and all of the opportunities that are to come it makes going home hard.
When I came on the Race I understood that there were going to be hard, rough times and that even in those times I would still choose to follow the Lords calling on my life. This past month it was really easy to do ministry without the Lord because that is where I thrive. Organizing, packaging, and distributing is easy for me. Last month I caught myself a lot trying to talk myself out of having quite time with the Lord. So that last week there my quite time with the Lord didn’t happen and I started running on fumes. Last night as I was praying to the Lord to take away my pain I found myself crying out to the Lord that I need you! And it was in that moment that the Lord showed me how I always need him but whether or not I will accept his help. So, going into month 5 I can already see how this month I’m going to need to be more in the word than any other month. Currently my squad and I are staying in the middle of one of the red-light districts and from night one I could definitely tell this is going to be a month filled with spiritual warfare. Just walking down, the street my heart just breaks for this industry and I immediately start praying. So, this month I know that to be able to combat the darkness of this culture I will have to be even more diligent about my time with the Lord.
Will you join me in praying for Bangkok Thailand and for my squad as we head into month 5.
